Goals of a Grandmother

Do you ever have something spark a memory and you don’t want to stop thinking about it? It’s like a wonderful memory that was almost forgotten, but for some odd reason you were reunited with it.

Here’s mine….I remember the days when I would watch my mom apply makeup, do her hair, and then stand in front of her closet as she pondered what to wear. I loved it when she was getting ready for a special occasion – which was rare. She always made little pin curls with bobby pins and lots of hairspray. I can smell it now. Like, why use perfume when you use all that hairspray? It smelled sooooo good!

She would always add a little dab of perfume on the inside of each wrist and on both sides of her neck. It was like the finishing touches before she headed out the door.

I always thought she was beautiful and I wondered if I would look like her when I grew up. I was told I resembled her when I was little, however, our personalities were nothing alike — or so I thought. Unfortunately, we butted heads many times when I was growing up. There were so many things that would really annoy me. I’m sure she felt the same. Never in a million years did I think I would be anything like her, but here I am – so much like her.

What no one tells you when you’re young is that it’s not easy growing older. Not for women, anyway. I wish I would’ve known that years ago. Maybe it would’ve helped me to understand my mom and why she did the things she did. I remember the day she started coloring her hair. I couldn’t understand why. I thought the little bit of gray made her look classy, but she disagreed. Then, came contacts. She hated wearing glasses and told me she looked “younger” without them. Why does she want to look younger, I thought. Last, the change in diet. It was like she was eating off a different menu than us. I never understood it.

Listen, If you’ve given birth to at least one child, every part of your body changes. I admit it’s a little depressing to listen to younger (even 5 years younger) women talk about their exercise regime and diets. You go home and look at your body in the mirror. It’s like you’re not sure if you should give up and accept things as they are or try to do something about what you don’t like. Is it worth it, or am I trying to achieve something that isn’t attainable? Are those days of feeling good about yourself gone? Maybe I should just appreciate the fact I’m still alive?!

Then, you stand closer to the mirror and look at your face. Here’s the thing. As your children grow up, your days are filled with busy schedules, sleepless nights, lots of decisions, and many prayers. Every wrinkle on my face is a testimony to all of that. Why some women don’t have wrinkles, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because they have good genes, stayed out of the sun, or drink gallons of water every day. What I DO know is that I’m jealous of them. One benefit of wearing a mask during Covid is that it covers up what you don’t like. The downside is I’ve become comfortable hiding my face. It has become my security blanket. Not kidding.

After writing all of the above, I realize it all sounds totally vain and that I’m probably putting too much emphasis on an outward appearance rather than my heart. Perhaps that’s true. But the reality of looking “older” isn’t easy and I pray I’ll accept the next change that comes along.

The truth is, I don’t want to waste my “last” days on this earth constantly feeling embarrassed about my dry, skinny hands, wrinkles on my face, my love handles, out of shape tummy, and my not so firm thighs. No, I want my days to be filled with appreciation that there’s still breath in my lungs. I want to focus on my love for our amazing Savior and letting others know how much He loves THEM, and that I’ve been blessed with my wonderful family and friends. Goals.

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