What I found out in the ER
If you have ever experienced a heart attack, or at least had similar symptoms – then you know how scary it feels. I recently made my first visit to the ER in Florida. When my husband walked in after doing a 5 mile run, I told him I needed to go.
The ER: Naturally, they didn’t know a single thing about me. I kept thinking – if we were in Indiana (where I spent 56 years of my life), I wouldn’t have to waste so much time telling them every single surgery I’ve had, what meds I’m taking and what I’m allergic to, what my parents did or didn’t have, my address, or what kind of insurance I have. They would know.
Don’t get me wrong, everyone here was very nice, professional and caring, but I was missing the comfort of not just being a number. Every time I had to repeat what was mentioned above, I was reminded that I was in a place where no one knows me.
There’s something powerful about being known.
Living in Florida has been a challenge. When people ask me if I like it, I pretty much always say the same thing. The view and weather are beautiful. We have met a lot of great people through our church and Mark’s work – for that I am so thankful.
But. That feeling that I had in the ER summed up what I don’t like about living here. I don’t like being so far away from my sons and family. I don’t like being far away from my friends – friendships that took years to build. Those people know my history. They know my mistakes and struggles. They were there when we had a death in our family or when we celebrated special birthdays. Some of them knew my parents. We experienced life together – not miles apart or on social media. It’s not the same.
The good news in all of this?
- I didn’t have a heart attack. They added a medication and referred me to a cardiologist.
- I have a wonderful husband who is very patient with me and understands.
- I have a loving God who does know me – and is walking beside me all the way.
- I have learned the value of reading scripture.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Psalm 139:1-6
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