Don’t Let Your Doubts Cloud Your Vision

Do you ever feel a tug on your heart to do something, and you wonder if it’s coming from the Lord? Days go by, and you realize that the tug has become more like a weight on your heart. You commit it to prayer, and although you don’t think you’ve received that clear-cut answer, you decide to take a step of faith. Things don’t happen the way you planned, but everything works out for the best. That’s exactly what happened to me last summer, and it still gives me chills.

First, let me explain how this tug came about. I reconnected to a high school friend, Penny, about five years ago through Facebook. I loved reading her uplifting posts. She was the kind of Christian witness that I dreamed of becoming. A couple of years ago I began to notice a drastic change in her posts. What she said just didn’t make sense. She finally shared with her friends that she had a brain tumor. She was facing the biggest challenge of her life, yet her faith continued to shine.

Although Penny did lose her battle to cancer, her testimony changed lives forever. One thing that stood out was her passion for an organization called Hope2Africa. Her heart ached for the lost everywhere, but especially for the people in Africa. She never had the opportunity to go because of her health, but she never stopped raising funds and awareness.

A mutual friend of ours, Becki, and I wanted to do something in Penny’s honor, so we decided to make that trip to Africa for her. That was my tug! Unfortunately, we discovered that the next scheduled mission trip would not work with our schedules.  We faced a closed-door. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

About a week went by when I received an invitation from a friend to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica. I couldn’t believe it. The difficult thing was – she notified me on a Wednesday, and I had to let her know by Friday. No pressure!

When I asked my husband what he thought, he told me to pray about it.  Friday morning came, and I remember sitting here at my computer asking God if this was a part of his plan.  I finally notified my friend that I wouldn’t be joining her this time. Truth is – I didn’t know where I would get the money. Throughout the day,  I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Instead of peace, I had a heavy heart. What came to my mind that afternoon was this: Teri, if you really believe that you are being called by God to do this, then why are you doubting that he will supply all your needs? What a humbling moment.

As soon as I got home that afternoon, I sent another message to see if the spot was still available. There was… and I took it. I finally felt that peace. Stepping out on faith can be a scary experience, but it’s worth it.  If you are feeling a tug to do something for the Lord, but you’re allowing doubt to control your decisions, please remember this: If God wants you to do something, he will provide.

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